If you got left out of plans, this is for you.
If you got left out of the plans, recently weren’t invited to something, this is for you. First I want to say I’m sorry, it’s never fun. Never good timing to be left out of the group chat, not invited to the birthday party, forgotten in the head count. It leaves a feeling of insignificance, a feeling of loneliness, and oftentimes those feelings make a home in your heart that take a little too long to leave. It is interesting how the lack of an invite can create the kind of bruise it does in our hearts. How the scroll on instagram, that reveals they hung out without you, can create a sort of bitterness that pushes apart a relationship that was once so special. Can I share a little bit of my heart with you today? It won’t be anything that fixes the sting but it may comfort it.
The amount of invites you get does not determine the amount of value inside of you. I know that doesn’t seem accurate today, it doesn’t feel true today, but how powerful it is to choose to believe it. It can feel like the invite number equals the number on the value scale but thank goodness it doesn’t. Could you imagine? If our worth was built on an invite, I think we would all be lacking, because we have all been left out. I’m so grateful the invite number doesn’t correlate with the value number because even if you do get a lot of invites what happens the moment one doesn’t come? Our value would come crashing down. Our value is not based on who you are, what you do, or where you come from. Better said, your value is not based on what they called you, what you do with them, or the things they didn’t do. Your value is based on the one who instilled value inside of you.
Maybe they didn’t call you friend or really they didn’t act like a friend. Thankfully you have the biggest friend, the best friend, and his name is Jesus. He doesn’t just play the role of friend but he also comes as a Father. A protector, a healer, a source of peace. This means when they swing, he protects. When they hurt, he heals. When they fill your heart with so much anxiousness you can’t stand to be near them, he fills your heart with peace to walk confidently not just in their room but in every room. Having Him on your team means that you never walk without a friend but always have one right beside you. Every moment, every hour, he is a friend to you.
Just because they didn’t send the text doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Just because you weren’t invited doesn’t mean you were supposed to be there. What the world tells us is earthly “rejection” is often heavenly protection. There have been many “invites” I was too busy to make, that have guarded my heart for the roads I am walking now. The missed event was accidental because God doesn’t create accidents in people or actions. He creates purpose. Pain is on purpose, because there is not one thing wasted for the one who is a child of God. For the one who is you. Your life is filled with purpose no matter if they see it or not.
Jesus lived a life that impacted more people than we read stories about. Jesus also lived a life not waiting to be invited but inviting people in. Recently I was asked what advice I would give to someone looking for community. I share with her to never wait to be invited but be the one who invites. If you are looking for a community and feeling like you’re at the bottom of the invite list then invite girls into your life. One of the biggest ways the enemy likes to isolate is by telling us “they already have their friend group.” I have met a lot of girls who looked like they had their dream friend group when in reality their hangouts were full of gossip, shallow conversations, and relationships that left them lonely.
Is it not fun to be the one not invited, we know that, so why would we not invite. Let’s be the inviters (is that even a word?? Idk but I want to be it!) High school girls, invite a new friend over to your house for girls night. College girls invite a friend from class to go on a walk with you before your class tomorrow. Young adult girls, invite a friend over to chat and fold laundry with. Mommas, invite a neighbor over for dinner. Let people in on the joy of your life, even when they don’t invite you into theirs.
Being uninvited hurts. Felling unseen and unwanted hurts. If we know how it feels to be the girl then let’s be the girl we always needed. I challenge you this week to love the people around you, walk with Jesus your Father and Friend, and invite people into your life.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love that will last forever. That is why I have continued showing you kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3
XX Scarlet
