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How to Make and Maintain Friends

Helloooo, Scarlet here back on the blog after an amazing 3 weeks of the Beyond the Bid takeover!!  If you rushed I hope you feel seen by God as he blessed you with a new community of sisters. If you are just getting ready to head back to school or maybe you’re already in week 1, 2, or 3 then we are at the starting line together sister!

I love the beginning of the school year because 1) its an excuse to buy more “school outfits” when in reality there is no need at all an addition to the closet haha. I also love it because it’s a time to focus in and get your life organized. It’s a time to get the cute pens, the right binders, and everything is neatly labeled. Then for maybe the first 2 days of school you’re kind of like ok… I got this…. then day 3 and 4 come. The syllabus starts to be put into action, the early mornings start to pick up, now you are balancing the assignment due today and the football game tomorrow. The overwhelming load begins to set in because we forget the peace we had at first. Maybe the drama that you thought fizzled out seems to make an appearance again. The group of friends that weren’t the best influence are now your everyday. The pressure of anxiety and having a thriving social life is becoming a little too much. Even though we are early in the semester, it’s never too early for a little encouragement in one of these major areas. 

Today we are going to talk about friends!!! When I ask around for topics girls want to hear about, getting friends and maintaining friends are some of the most popular answers. Friends, I think, are one of God’s greatest blessings but they can also be really tough. When we don’t know how to search for friends we say yes to the wrong invitations and our eyes are too blind to see the right ones. 

When I think about friendship I think about Jesus. The greatest friend of all and the greatest friend to all. Jesus was the kind of friend you could count on. He was the guy that could walk up to anyone and make them feel welcome. Jesus was also on mission to tell people about his Heavenly Father who also wanted to be their Heavenly Father too. 

Jesus was a friend that wasn’t worried about the latest drama but made what really mattered simple. Today we are sharing 3 things to look for in a friend. These are 3 things we can look for in friends but also what we can develop in ourselves to be the good friend. Because of the friend Jesus was, we can know the friend to look for and the friend we should be. So when you feel down about the relationships around you, circle back to these examples and let God lead you to your people. 

Find a friend that is truthful 

Jesus was an honest friend. He shared the truth in love. In our relationships this looks like accountability in action. Jesus was a friend that kept others in line with their convictions. He reminded them of the “why” behind their actions. He didn’t gossip to prevent awkward interactions, sharing business that may or may not be true. He spoke from authority sharing what was the truth. He was uplifting with his words because he chose to see people the way God created them. As a friend we can be truthful, to honor people with our words and to call our friends higher. As we live our life this way we should also look for friends who do the same 

Verses to remember: 

Ephesians 4:15 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ”

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Find a friend who shows grace 

Jesus was a friend filled with grace. He didn’t hold grudges on the choices of others nor did he call people by their choices. He showed grace because his place was not to judge but to love. Grace was a choice that he made so that we could experience love. When he was wronged he chose forgiveness because he knew to not hate the sinner but the sin. As a friend we can reflect this by showing love when we run into a bump in the road with a friend. We don’t hold grudges because Jesus didn’t hold a grudge with us. When looking for a friend we look for someone who doesn’t bring up someone else’s past but believes in their future. 

Verses to remember:

Ephesians 4:7 “But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.”

Colossians 3:13 “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Find a friend that is on mission

Jesus was a friend of sinners and two of those sinners were you and me. He never cast people out because they looked different or maybe acted weird but he believed in their purpose. Jesus also believed in his own purpose which was to lead people to the father. As believers we want to live on a mission for the kingdom. Finding ways to invite people in and to lift them up. We lift people up with our words and with our actions. When looking for a friend we can look for someone who does the same. We look for someone who desires to seek out the lost and lead them to be found. We look for a friend that desires to extend the invite to the person no one else was willing to bring. Find a friend that is on mission for Jesus, on mission to help people know that they are loved by God. 

Verses to remember 

1 Peter 4:9  “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling”

Revelation 22:17 “The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.”

So this semester as you look for friends and as you become a friend, let’s be friends who are truthful in our words, a friend that is full of grace, and a friend that is on mission. All of this for the heart of Jesus

Xoxo Scarlet