When the Friendship Goes South

I had a thought on my mind before I sat down to type this one out, I started to write about the struggle of relationships with your friends but then started to think about the awkwardness of a failed friendship. Especially if you see the person everyday at school, walking to class, with mutual friends, etc. You want to be nice and polite but at the same time you don’t want to give them the time of day lol. In reality seeing someone you had a falling out with is just weird. It may not have been a bad falling out but yall definitely do not talk anymore, maybe she hurt you and she doesn’t even know it. She stopped inviting you to places and life got lonely, you depended on your hangouts but then she started hanging out with different people. If we are honest these are all pretty hurtful. 

Maybe you’re the friend who was doing the hurting. She just started getting on your nerves so you stopped inviting her places, her fault right? Or she did you wrong, flirted with your boy and you don’t want to see her in your line of sight. I think we have all. been. there. 

I was talking with a friend recently and she was sharing what it was like to come home after her freshman year at college and her old friendships aren’t the same. Someone she used to hangout with everyday doesn’t even invite her places anymore. She felt hurt and she felt lonely. When you are hurt by one of your closest friends, life can feel lonely, it can be hurtful, and then it can be scary to trust people again. 

I was reading about the relationship between Jesus and Judas. They started out as close friends, Jesus had called Judas as one of his disciples. By the time we get to the end of the story Judas is the reason Jesus is arrested. Talk about a hurtful friend. When I think of being Jesus in this situation I know I would be frustrated and hurt. If Judas had been my friend there is no way I would be able to look at him the same yet somehow Jesus still chose to do it with so much mercy. Jesus knew the sacrifice to come was worth even a heart like Judas’ and he knew he wanted to love him through it.

The only thing that kept Jesus’ view of Judas on the right track was his foundation, standing firm in what the Lord revealed to him. Jesus knew the reality of failed friendships, we read about it, but he also knew not to put the heavenly expectation of being perfect on a human.  People fail every time and when we put an expectation on people, that is only meant to be on God it will fall through. We become let down because people fail us when failure isn’t an “if” but a “when.” And “when” it happens we have to decide what we are going to do and how we are going to treat them.

Jesus didn’t get hurt by Judas and then curse his name in the town, He chose to be his savior. When we get hurt by friends, we can’t save them but we can love them, we can pray for them, we can give them grace. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is exactly what needs to be done and grace is hard.  

When friends betray us it can hurt our feelings and also hurt our ego. If our confidence is in Jesus and he is our best friend, the pain of a failed friendship doesn’t have a hold on us and grace becomes our response. Because Jesus built his foundation and expectation on God, when Judas failed him, he was able to cover him with love and grace. He did it for Judas and he does it for us too 

Verses to Remember

Bear with each other and forgive each other. if someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

Love your enemies and bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute you

Matthew 5:44

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you

Ephesians 4:31-31

Do to others as you would have them do to you

Luke 6:31

XX Scarlet